For years, I couldn’t explain it. Every time I traveled to Germany, I felt a heaviness – palpable even at the border, as if I were stepping into another world. I didn’t know why, but it was always there. For a long time, I assumed that was just the way it was. Only later did I understand: I was carrying a story that wasn’t my own. What Is Systemic Work? Systemic work reveals invisible patterns within families. Often, we unconsciously assume roles or burdens. Its goal is to recognize these entanglements, let them go, and reclaim our own place in life – with understanding instead of guilt or resentment. An Inheritance I Unknowingly Carried My mother, born in Germany during World War II, grew up in a time marked by fear and unspoken guilt. Although she loved me with all her heart, the emotional scars and consequences of her past prevented her from giving me the protection and support I so desperately needed. Instead, I became the strong daughter early on—showing understanding, enduring, and carrying burdens that were never meant for me. I became the emotional pillar, even though I was far too young to bear such a load. Systemic Work: From Recognition to Release For a long time, I tried to simply accept it. But the older I got, the clearer it became: it doesn’t have to be this way. I began to face my story – even when it hurt. And then came the most important step: I made a conscious decision not to carry this burden any further — a burden that had left many marks on me as well. But insight alone wasn’t enough – I had to be willing to leave the past where it belongs. The Result: Freedom Feels Damn Good It was a process, but eventually everything clicked. I realized that I no longer had to feel responsible for a past that wasn’t mine to begin with. Today, I travel to Germany without an invisible guilt weighing me down. I have made peace—with myself, with my mother, with the past. For the first time, I truly stand in my own place—light, free, completely myself. The burdens that accompanied me for so long are no longer mine. And that is true freedom. A Thank You to Those Who Accompanied Me My heartfelt thanks go to my mentor Colleen-Joy, who opened new doors for me through systemic coaching. The book Bloodlines & Baggage  by Pam Roux & Colleen-Joy also became a key tool on this journey. A heartfelt thank you to my partner Patrik Forrer, who, with the patience of a Zen master, held space for my endless thought spirals, waves of insight, and floods of tears – and still chose to stay by my side. What are you still carrying, even though it doesn’t belong to you? With warmth Caroline

In my last post, I talked about how we often prefer to suppress unpleasant emotions and memories rather than facing them with courage. If you missed the last post, you can catch up here: Link to Blog . In my younger years, I experienced developmental trauma that—along with numerous limiting beliefs—deeply wounded my self-worth. I constantly tried to please those around me, meeting expectations without ever truly learning how to set boundaries. No wonder—I didn’t even know what my own boundaries were. Because of this, I struggled greatly in my relationships, both with myself and with others. And so, for a very long time, I kept singing the "You complete me" song. Even in my Enneagram Type 6 pattern, I found myself on the lower end of the spectrum. I was overly loyal and constantly sought security in the external world. I no longer knew who I truly was or what my own heart desired. My body had become nothing more than an empty vessel. Emotional eating didn’t help. My lack of self-worth could not be satisfied through this attempt at control. If my body were a house, I had locked myself away in its darkest basement for many precious years of my life. My body kept giving me signs, but I ignored them. I simply didn’t trust it. In 2023, I actively began exploring bodywork , getting to know my own body, and stepping into its incredible spaces. That was a turning point. Through bodywork, I discovered vibrant rooms within me, filled with warmth, magic, and countless melodies spanning exciting music genres. But there were also rooms I didn’t dare to enter—because I feared what was inside. Yet, this "content" kept knocking on the door—again and again—until I finally opened it. And I knew: If I truly wanted to move forward in life, I had to go through it somehow. So I started looking inward, facing what had been blocking me time and again. This process took immense courage and countless tears, but something beautiful emerged. I filled my body and soul with love. Love for myself. I also met my best friend within—someone I now regularly “date” 😊. Learning to recognize my own boundaries, with all their YES’s and NO’s (including the vocabulary to express them), was life-changing for me. Bodywork was the gateway to this beautiful new world within me—where I finally feel at home. If these topics resonate with you, I would love to hear about your own experiences. Feel free to reach out and share your thoughts! Which inner spaces within you are waiting to be explored? Which doors are worth opening with courage? With warmth Caroline

How wonderful it is to retreat to one’s quiet throne, a place where you are alone with yourself, letting nature take its course. This morning, like so many times before after my beloved morning coffee, I strolled to the bathroom, already pleased that my digestion seemed to be functioning. Because, let’s be honest—sometimes that’s not a given. When you’re constantly juggling deadlines, stress-snacking your way through life, and barely moving except to switch from one chair to another, you really can’t be surprised when your gut eventually folds its arms and says, “Figure it out yourself, buddy.” So there I sat. Silence. As I breathed and let my body do its thing, a thought hit me—one that had way more to do with letting go  than I had ever consciously realized, especially in this particular setting. It dawned on me that while my body was following its natural rhythm, I was also releasing something else: a couple of outdated beliefs that had been lingering far too long, like guests at a party who just won’t take the hint. We all know the sheer joy of emptying a full bladder or a stubborn gut. But if limiting thoughts and old mental baggage swirl down the pipes with them? That’s not just relief—that’s transformation. A bathroom epiphany of the highest order! Forget fancy retreats and mindfulness seminars; sometimes, true liberation happens right there, mid-squat, with nothing but you, your body, and the sweet sound of a flushing toilet. This morning, I took it a step further. Still sitting on my now perfectly body-temperature toilet seat, I started talking—to my body. And here’s what I found myself saying: Thank you for doing this essential, often unappreciated work. For nourishing me, cleansing me, and giving me signals when I need to pay attention. I’m sorry for the times I ignored you, dismissed you, or took you for granted. I see you now. You are a gift—an absolute masterpiece of nature. If I ever neglect you again, if you ever feel like an overworked servant to my habits, I sincerely apologize. I promise I’ll do my best. I really do like you, and I’m grateful for everything you do for me. And just like that, something shifted. I felt the kind of deep connection you experience when you meet someone for the first time and instantly know  you’re going to be lifelong friends. Even now, as I write this, these words bring both an outer smile to my face and an inner one to my soul.

Happy New Year to everyone! In the first part of my series A House Full of Wonders , I shared how our body is like a house full of rooms waiting to be discovered and decluttered. If you missed that post, you can catch up here . Have you ever tried to ignore a problem, thinking, "If I don't see it, it's not really there"? Yeah, me too. But honestly, how often has that actually worked? I’ve learned that suppression might bring temporary relief, but it’s not a long-term solution. Painful experiences and memories don’t just disappear. They linger—like dusty old boxes in a dark room. And eventually, we stumble over them in the middle of our daily lives. It was only when I decided to face those dark rooms within me that I truly found peace. It felt like stepping into an abandoned house and opening doors, one by one. Some rooms were bright, others quite chaotic—but with every step, I let in more light, air, and warmth. Where do you find yourself suppressing things? 🌈 In the next post, we’ll take a humorous turn: I’ll take you on a journey through the chaotic rooms of my body—and how I used an imaginary broom to bring light and order. Stay tuned for A Broom for the Soul ! If you’d like to comment or share your thoughts, you are warmly invited to do so. Sincerely Caroline Banz

Welcome to my mini-series "A House Full of Wonders"! Do you know the feeling of decluttering a house? Dust flies, old boxes are sorted out, and suddenly light and air flow into spaces that have been crowded for a long time. It feels like you're not only sweeping the floors but also your soul—a liberating feeling that makes room for new things and brings warmth back into your life. It's almost as if the house itself lets out a relieved "Phew!" That’s exactly how I felt when I began truly listening to my body. Two years ago, I decided to train as a Sexological Bodyworker—a profession that is already well-established in the U.S. This training helped me enter the “rooms of my body,” clear them out, let in light, and take a closer look at things I had pushed aside for so long, some of which were unpleasant. And in doing so, I was finally able to let them go. But the most exciting part? With this holistic approach, I can now help others discover and illuminate their own unique inner spaces. Our bodies are like houses full of wonders—just waiting for us to open the doors. It's incredibly beautiful to witness how people I work with bring their inner spaces to life—sometimes so brightly that I feel like I need to grab sunglasses! 😊 What rooms within you are waiting to be discovered and brought to light? I’m thrilled to have you join me on this journey. Follow along for the next posts, and feel free to share what’s moving you inside your inner house. In the next post, I’ll talk about why repression is not a solution and what can unfold when we confront the closed doors within our bodies. Stay tuned for the next part of the series: “Repression Doesn’t Help.” If you’d like to comment or share your thoughts, feel free to visit my blog—there, you can connect with me and others directly! Warmly, Caroline Tanja Banz

I am happy to present you our new song “Be your True Self” (Music - Ivan Dimitrov) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HvncJufLJs Lead Vocal, Lyrics - Caroline Tanja Banz Drums - Stanko Kociov Guitar, Vocals - Ivan Dimitrov Bass - Robert Vizvari Fender Rhodes - Eugen Vizvary MIXING & MASTERING by Ivan Dimitrov October 5, 2022

Yes, you have read correctly. I married myself. The idea came up in 2021. A couple loves each other, gets married and promises each other eternal fidelity, care and love. There's actually a lot to be said for giving yourself these beautiful things in life. Don't you think so? For me, this "self-marriage" was a making peace with the past and a promise for the now and the future. Here's a quick review: My life was a roller coaster ride for years. Even as a child, there were rough times for me. My childhood was a time filled with fears, violence and shame. At the worst times, I would lock myself in my room full of fear, fearing for my mother's life. This had a devastating impact on my life. Even then, I unconsciously developed a strategy: I had to scale back my needs and take care of others much more, giving of myself and serving, to make sure I was loved and never abandoned. My natural nature, which was to help and support, had evolved in a very unhealthy direction. In my early 20s, I thought I had my life pretty well under control despite this dark childhood, and that I was still "well turned out" after all. But in fact it soon became apparent that I was probably one of the best repression artists the world has ever produced. I was a woman who still liked to help and do everything imaginable for her fellow human beings so that they were happy. However, I often "bent like a pretzel." I always seemed to sense what other people liked and needed. About myself, however, I knew precious little. Being in relationship with people and being loved by them was my goal, so much so that I didn't know myself at all because of my focus on other people. And if you don't know someone, you can neither love nor accept them. Unfortunately, my body also felt this, because I was not very mindful of it. I am not proud of that. My relationships were also - no wonder - a roller coaster ride, because for a long time I carried the thinking and strategy pattern of the child at that time inside me. About 3 years ago, after more than 40 years, the awakening came. I started to look, to see through my patterns and to understand them. This was definitely not a walk in the park. It took a lot of courage, overcoming and quite a few tears to face reality. On this journey of awakening and looking, I learned a lot about myself. I began to realize what self-love is, what truth and authenticity feel like. Naming and expressing feelings helped me to get to know myself on the one hand, but also to feel my childhood wounds in all clarity on the other. These now came to the surface for the first time, wanting to be heard and comforted, which was painful but long overdue. By awakening and looking, I was finally able to grieve, process and let go. I am now at peace with my past and make peace with it. Even though I have learned a lot about myself, I am nowhere near the end of my journey. I have discovered how beautiful self-love and authenticity are. I have found a new best friend - myself! A friend who loves me as I am, until the end of days and much further. And to this friend I promise to be true to myself and to remain authentic, to stand by myself and to love myself just as I love other people. That was and is an important step for me. And I would like to take many more such steps. I love being a coach, helping and supporting people, and I do this now from a nourished and loved self. I would like to thank all the people who have given me both challenges and bright spots along the way.